


Apologies Upon Apologies

by holdyourbreathfornow



Series: Family of Three [10]
Category: Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Crying, Emotional Withdrawal, Gen, Guilt, Healthy Communications, Hugs, Nerf battles, just a lil bit though, mentions of amputation, nerf or nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26778391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdyourbreathfornow/pseuds/holdyourbreathfornow
Summary: Bubby and Harold are both feeling guilty, and Gordon can sense how awkward everything is.  He decides to force a conversation.
Relationships: Bubby & Gordon Freeman, Dr. Coomer & Gordon Freeman
Series: Family of Three [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918150
Comments: 12
Kudos: 204





	Apologies Upon Apologies

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY SO I HAVE SOME OTHER STUFF IN THE WORKS BUT I GOT AN ASK ON TUMBLR AND INSPIRATION SUCKER PUNCHED ME SO HERE WE ARE

Apologies are a sensitive thing after… Everything that’s transpired. Yes, there was that first round of them once everyone was safely free from the maws of Hell, but new information has come to light since then, and it… Eats away at people over time.

Oddly enough, Gordon’s the most emotionally stable person in the house, especially with all that therapy under his belt. It seems like he’s finally found his footing with who he is as a person and no one wants to disturb that.

Bubby sighs a little as he stands in the living room and sets a couch cushion down with more force than necessary. He’s feeling guilty again, but what else is new? It’s a little awkward, with Benrey and Tommy being gone for the day. Gordon’s picked up on the awkwardness, and he’s withdrawn a little. Bubby thinks that’s for the best, since he wouldn’t know what to say anyway.

It hadn’t been his idea for the Science Team to cohabitate, and sometimes it shows. He wonders how someone hasn’t snapped yet, whether it’s Tommy leaving to live with his dad or-

Gordon leaving. Like he should’ve done as soon as he remembered what Bubby did to him. 

Bubby hisses a breath out through his teeth and turns, only to come face to face with Gordon, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Christ-!” Bubby yelps and Gordon startles as well, eyes going wide. “Gonna give me a heart attack, jesus fuck!”

“Sorry.” Gordon mutters and Bubby pauses to look at him. Gordon’s drawn into himself and he’s wearing one of Benrey’s giant hoodies. Bubby sighs and straightens up.

“Nah, I’m sorry. You just scared the shit out of me. What’s up, kid?” He turns and keeps putting the covers back on the couch cushions.

“Did I… Do something?” Gordon asks and Bubby freezes. 

“No. I just… No, you didn’t do anything.”

“Then why are y’all avoiding me?” Gordon’s bluntness still surprises Bubby and he turns. Gordon’s got his fists balled through the sleeves of Benrey’s hoodie. “You’re in here and Dad’s in your room and it feels like the damn Ice Age in here. If I didn’t do anything then what’s going on?”

“I’m just working through some head shit, don’t worry about it.” Gordon steps fully into the living room.

“We need to talk about it. I wanna help.”

“You don’t have to-”

“No, we need to talk. Please, Papa.” Bubby sighs quietly and covers his face with one hand. “If you need me to-to do or say something, then you need to  _ tell  _ me, please.”

“It’s not anything you need to do, I promise. Just… I don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?”

“I don’t get why you’re here! You know? All you remember is Black Mesa and this farm! I don’t understand why you didn’t just leave!” Bubby takes his hands away from his face to wave and that’s the only reason he notices the stricken look on Gordon’s face, like he’s about to cry, and great, now Bubby’s fucked up his apology. 

“I-” Gordon inhales deeply and scrubs at his face. Determination seems to filter across his face and Gordon’s shoulders rise a little defensively. He mutters to himself under his breath. “No. I’m not gonna apologize.” He looks up and locks gazes with Bubby. “I  _ wanna  _ be here, Papa.”

“Why?!” Gordon blinks and looks at Bubby. “Why would you wanna live with the man who got your arm cut off?” Bubby dissolves into tears at that point and he curses under his breath as he swipes at his face. 

“Papa…” Gordon reaches out and wraps his arms around Bubby, hugging him tight enough that Bubby almost thinks he feels something pop. “Papa, it wasn’t you. Okay? It-I don’t blame you. So please, please stop blaming yourself.”

“Sorry…” Bubby wraps his arms around Gordon and lets the tears fall a little more freely. “I’m so goddamn sorry, Gordon.”

“I know. I know, Papa, I forgive you.” Bubby hears Gordon sniffle and he pulls away a little to look at him. Gordon has tears on his cheeks and Bubby chuckles a little as uses the sleeve of his sweater to wipe some of Gordon’s tears away.

“Now why are you crying?” He asks and Gordon laughs a little, still crying.

“It- I don’t like seeing you sad, okay? I’m used to you being all bigger than life! Not used to you crying.”

“Well, don’t get used to it. I’m more the type to light something on fire.” 

“Sounds about right.” Gordon laughs at that. “Okay, are you okay? Cause I will pick you up and carry you around like Matilda.”

“Don’t you dare.” Bubby scowls and Gordon drops his head back onto Bubby’s shoulder, nodding into the fabric.

“Okay, I won’t. But, uh, Papa. If you’ve been… Feeling guilty, do you think Dad’s been feeling guilty too?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Bubby cups a hand around the back of Gordon’s head. “After everything with his clones.”

“Yeah.” Gordon inhales, still sounding a little sniffly, and pulls away. He smiles at Bubby and grabs his hands. He squeezes them before he heads out of the room. Bubby smiles to himself a little and goes to make himself a cup of coffee, just for something to do.

-

Harold’s folding clothes when Gordon finds him. He’s sitting on the edge of his and Bubby’s bed, and Gordon pauses in the doorway for a moment before he comes and sits down next to Harold.

“Hello, Gordon.” Harold murmurs. He passes Gordon a towel aand Gordon runs his fingers over the fabric before he starts to fold it. “Have you been crying?”

“I think you know.” Gordon says and then snorts a little. “Wow, that was really ominous for no reason.”

“Did your conversation with Bubby go well?” Harold asks, not looking at Gordon. He feels more than sees Gordon set the towel on the bed behind him before he reaches out and grabs Harold’s wrists gently.

“Please look at me, Dad.” Harold sighs and looks up. Gordon’s eyes are a little red and puffy from crying, but his expression is earnest and open, and Harold has to swallow down his own tears already. He knows what’s coming, he’d heard Gordon and Bubby talking in the living room. “Dad, your clones-”

“I know.” Harold sighs. “I know it wasn’t any of my doing, what they did to you and Tommy, but… I wonder if the sight of me ever-” He glances away, though he leaves his hands in Gordon’s. “-if you’re ever scared of me.”

“No.” Gordon says instantly and Harold’s gaze snaps back to him. Gordon looks fierce now and he squeezes Harold’s hands a little, so softly Harold doubts he’s doing it on purpose. “You’re my dad, I’m not scared of you.”

“My clones-”

“They’re not perfect replicas. They got one thing wrong. The eyes are too dull.” Gordon smiles a little. “I should know, I’ve spent long enough staring at myself in the mirror.” He chuckles at that and so does Harold, and after a moment of silence, they both dissolve into hysterics, shrieking with laughter as they cling to each other. 

At some point it warps to crying, but that’s perfectly fine. Gordon’s buried into Harold’s front and Harold squeezes him just enough. He feels like Gordon had taken off weights Harold hadn’t even known he was wearing and now he can breathe.

“I never noticed.” Harold murmurs once they’ve calmed down a little. “All those years working with the damned things, I never noticed their eyes.”

“Well, at least I’m more observant than you, you old man.” Gordon teases and Harold scoffs.

“My boy, those sound like fighting words!” Gordon sticks his tongue out at Harold and rockets off the bed, Harold close behind him as they run about the house like children. Bubby yells at them for not including him.

No one really knows what to say when Benrey and Tommy come back home and find Gordon defending his title of ‘King of the staircase’ with a Nerf minigun, Harold using Bubby as a human shield while Bubby screams obscenities.

But then they join in on the uprising, so it all works out in the end. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading! Come say hi on my Tumblr: holdyourbreathfornow


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